Here in the apartment, I like to step outside into the balcony late at night during these hours while my roommates and our guests are inside partying it up. Being on the top floor (the third floor) and overlooking the rest of the complex at night makes me feel a little like Batman. I usually wear black button-down long-sleeved shirts and matching pants to go with it. I like to observe the various going-on’s with people walking in and out of cars and apartments. Cops on the other end of the complex crashing a party or a couple of guys fixing their car.
Again, it makes me feel like Batman. My signal doesn’t come in the form of a bat shaped light in the sky. Instead it’s a phone call by friends miles away from here, where I am helping them cope with issues or they’re in need of somebody to talk too. Sometimes, it’s even a roomate who wants to talk to me privately about how the status of their relationship is going.
I don’t know what it is about me that makes them feel the need to come to me for advice. Is it because of the advice I give them, or the fact that I listen? I have never really understood. Maybe it’s the admittedly negative way I view myself that clouds my judgment of how my friends and family view me.
Again, I don’t know why it is they all come to me. If I wasn’t able to get it straight in my own relationship, what makes me think I have any advice to give to these women? What makes me any different then the men in their lives who drive them to the point of tears?
I just don’t understand it.