.."that guy."

Here in the apartment, I like to step outside into the balcony late at night during these hours while my roommates and our guests are inside partying it up. Being on the top floor (the third floor) and overlooking the rest of the complex at night makes me feel a little like Batman. I usually wear black button-down long-sleeved shirts and matching pants to go with it. I like to observe the various going-on’s with people walking in and out of cars and apartments. Cops on the other end of the complex crashing a party or a couple of guys fixing their car.

Again, it makes me feel like Batman. My signal doesn’t come in the form of a bat shaped light in the sky. Instead it’s a phone call by friends miles away from here, where I am helping them cope with issues or they’re in need of somebody to talk too. Sometimes, it’s even a roomate who wants to talk to me privately about how the status of their relationship is going.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes them feel the need to come to me for advice. Is it because of the advice I give them, or the fact that I listen? I have never really understood. Maybe it’s the admittedly negative way I view myself that clouds my judgment of how my friends and family view me.

Again, I don’t know why it is they all come to me. If I wasn’t able to get it straight in my own relationship, what makes me think I have any advice to give to these women? What makes me any different then the men in their lives who drive them to the point of tears?

I just don’t understand it.

I think I've had enough.

There are just too many old white men in charge.

I am getting very sick and tired of this nonsensical loop of misogynistic, bible-thumping, racist, politicians jacking each other off in both Congress and the White House. I am just so god damn sick of it already!

These are primitive ideologies and shouldn’t be put into practice let alone build laws centering around them. The fact that there are anti-choice laws for women shows you that these men do not respect women and in all honesty just plain hate them. I do no understand why you can’t see that Cindy. You deserve better than what you’ve been taught to believe.

God doesn’t exist and it never did, so you can all stop enforcing it‘s poison onto the non-thinking majority!

I wish all these stupid fucks would just die from heart failure or diabetes. The world doesn’t need anymore old farts wearing Depends blowing the shit out of brown people’s homes in far off countries.

Oh, and smooth move John, getting senator Sarah Palin to be your Vice President. A woman was a fine choice, especially in these kinds of times. But it has to be said; boys, before you get a stiffy from looking at pictures of this MILF, you should know she’s all “man” under that skirt. She’s just as psychotic and retarded as her male counterparts in office. (“Creationism” in schools? Really, now?? Go to a fucking Comic-Con and discuss that trivial 2nd rate science-fiction bullshit with cos-players, cause that kind of crap doesn‘t belong in an elementary school.)

Why is it all these women in office have primitive views like their old male counter-parts? Well, if I need to explain that answer then I think it’s safe to say that’s why nobody will remember your name.

New Artwork!! Cynical Chameleon 22

"No More Roses & Razerblades" (Cynical Chameleon 22)

The latest drawing from the Cynical Chameleon series has premired in all my major accounts. This one is obviously abstract and was spawned from the same sessions that "Chains" was concieved from. Weirdly enough, "Chains" isn't a Chameleon drawing.

I guess I'm just a weirdo like that.

So, tell me what you guys think.

By the way, I just realized that Lindsay Lohan's current girlfriend Samantha Ronson has a Self-Portrait.net account. Weird.. I didn't think anybody remotely famous actually used an SP account. Pretty lame she's forever frozen in the top 5 even though she only has 5 remixed songs (since she's a DJ). Which leaves me to my next question, is she related to the DJ Mark Ronson? That guy is kinda cool. I like his work with Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse. I suppose I could just Wikipedia all this bullshit, but I don't think I really care much for these people to actually do it.

Anywho, I think I am going to back to the lab again. Buh-bye.

Torrents, Slipknot, The Long Halloween, and a new drawing..

Okay, so I have been hard at work in my lab concocting some new artwork whilst at the same time I am downloading full DVD volumes of Batman Beyond and Batman the Animated Series (amongst others of course).

Honestly, I have become quite the little pack-rat these days with torrent websites such as The Pirate Bay, The internet speeds in these apartment are INSANELY fast. 15Gigs of Batman cartoons and movies all within a day. Sometimes they even go an entire meg per second while downloading. Boy if I wasn’t much of a pirate before, now I have to be Captain Jack Sparrow.

I also grabbed myself a copy of the new Slipknot album late last night (with 3 bonus tracks). It’s pretty good. It might not have breathtaking tracks like, “The Nameless”, “The Blister Exists”, or “Circle”, but it certainly has it’s great share of awesome tracks. I recommend it.

Oh, also I’ve been reading the Batman graphic novel, “The Long Halloween.” I had been looking for it for a really long time now. It wasn’t in Laredo’s comic store and book store, it was sold out in the San Antonio comic store and in the first comic store I went to here in Denton (which is in walking distance) they had everything but that. But now, after searching in another store, I finally found it! The only copy and it was hiding behind this other book (which is saying a lot since they had TONS of comics.

Anyway, (long story-short) the wait and search was worth it. This graphic novel is AMAZING. I’m almost going to finish it, but already it has made my mouth drop more than anything before it. The artwork is STUNNING. The character designs for Joker and the way he moves and walks are nuts. The relationship between Catwoman and Batman is really nice and it’s more of a mental thing than anything else. The writing is simply FLAWLESS. After reading most of this I see where Nolan and his brother got the inspiration for the Dark Knight movie cause they do take away a lot of elements from this book. It’s simply to die for! I’ve never said anything like this about any comic or novel, but I am in LOVE with this book. It’s my favorite graphic novel! I know everybody always gets on their knees for Frank Miller and his stereotypical BS, but I gotta say that Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale totally blow his work on Batman out of the water. It’s sssoooo goood!

So (aside from my childhood comic book obsession making a grand return in my early twenties); I’m really close of finishing a new drawing at the moment. It might be up before this weekend, so keep on coming by my blog or watch my website and DeviantART for it. It’s another “Cynical Chameleon” numbered drawing.

That’s all I will say about it for now. The next time I mention it will be when it is released. ; )

Preparations

Woah.

Sorry for the lack of updates guys, I've been getting settled in my apartment (which is really, really, really nice). It's so neat and cozy. In fact, it's like the size of my parents house only without the garage. I like it. I've already starting putting up my posters and nick-nacks in my room to better suit mah needs.

Today we went to Forth Worth to check out an IMAX presentation called, “Deep Sea” which was really awesome. After that we had dinner at Peter Piper Pizza with Mariel.

Yesterday I had the student orientation at UNT. It was okay, but very boring. Sucks I won’t be taking any classes this semester. Alas, I’m registered and ready.

So, about that Nine Inch Nails concert..



The Nine Inch Nails show this past Monday in Dallas was really, really, amazing. The production back in 2005 when I first saw TR and his crew was excellent. The production in the Summer of 2006 picked it up a notch with an intense set-list and spectacular visuals.

Now, in 2008 he's raised the bar even further. I honestly do not know how Trent can top this new production. It is just jaw dropping. I mean it when I say that. There is a point in his two hour set where the band gets extremely minimal instrumentally and they begin to play songs off Ghosts.

As Trent played the piano to Ghosts I, I was floored. The stage turned into a dark world. There was a moving dark sky. The sand dunes were blowing. It was an amazing, and very artistic performance. At one point everything turned into a forest. The trees and raining water covered Trent and the boys. I was fucking speechless. Everyone around me couldn't believe what they were watching. Even the n00bs who only come for the hit singles were floored. FLOORED. I ain't exaggerating. It was unlike anything NIN has ever done.

It was also very cool to finally hear material off of Year Zero. Last time he toured the US, he only had With Teeth released. Since then he’s made 3 albums, so there was a lot of new things to expect. I danced the night away and while I wasn’t I just amazed at the spectacle that is NIN. “The Greater Good” off of Year Zero was “WOAH.” The entire stage turned into static and moved with the beats of the music only to have Trent’s face coming in and out of the static zoomed into his mouth and eyes. Radiohead had done something similar back when I saw them in May only Trent leaped miles over it. Everyone was astonished.

Truly a show to remember. Here is what the Dallas Morning News wrote about it:

Nine Inch Nails show is a multimedia vision, come to rocking life
12:00 AM CDT on Tuesday, August 19, 2008
By MIKE DANIEL / The Dallas Morning News
mdaniel@dallasnews.com

Put this in lights: Thinking outside the big, bad music-biz box can pay off.

It's not a coincidence that Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails – the two acts that have usurped the traditional music-sales model to the grandest effect in the past year – have also staged the two most visually dazzling concerts of 2008.

But Radiohead's static forest of dangling neon icicles feels like a half-baked, budget-conscious collegiate gallery installation compared to the multipanel, megastrobed mastery of Trent Reznor's multimedia vision, as executed on Monday in front of roughly 7,000 people at American Airlines Center.

You might've wondered when someone would put one of those grate-like see-through LED-monitor curtains to full use. Well, Mr. Reznor did, but not until after starting the two-hour concert at a breakneck, instrument-breaking tempo with four snorting techno-punk tracks from his recent release, The Slip, in addition to "March of the Pigs," "Closer" and three more selections for the crowd's classic NIN nuts.

Then, three of those light grates began moving up and down, as if backdrops to a postmodern opera about industrial catharsis soundtracked by a mad (or, at least, mad as hell) John Philip Sousa type with an acute case of Orwellian futurethink.

First, the band manned all manner of electronica gear to perform "The Warning" and "Vessel" in front of the stage-front grate as it flickered with faux spotlight auras. Then a midstage panel lowered to depict high-contrast desert-scapes and swampland during exotic instrumental passages from the quartet of recent Ghosts releases. (You've gotta admit that seeing the beefy Mr. Reznor play an orchestra-quality xylophone is a treat).

Then the show became art.

TV snow hid the band behind the front panel during another instrumental; then a hole burned through the digital static to reveal them. A blue, jazzy turn through "Piggy" morphed into throbbing mountain topography during "The Greater Good" as Mr. Reznor's fist-accompanied, singing face flitted in and out. A little later, Mr. Reznor, guitarist Robin Finck and bassist Justin Meldal-Johnsen frolicked beneath a rack of swinging LED tubes during "The Big Come Down."

We were told that Mr. Reznor decided not to allow photography at the show because he wasn't feeling well, though he and the band sounded fine. That's OK. Photography wouldn't have done this technical spectacle any justice.

Yes, photography wouldn’t have done any kind of justice which is why I held off taking photos.

Here was the list of songs played in order:

999,999
1,000,000
Letting You
Discipline
March Of The Pigs
Head Down
The Frail
Closer
The Line Begins To Blur
Gave Up
The Warning
Vessel
Ghosts 1
Ghosts 25
Ghosts 19
Piggy
The Greater Good
Wish
Terrible Lie
Survivalism
The Big Come Down
Ghosts 31
Only
Down In It
Head Like A Hole

Echoplex
Getting Smaller
God Given
Hurt
In This Twilight

In This Twilight was beautiful and I truly felt as if the world was coming to an end. As he sang, the explosions and destruction The background visuals showed a world being destroyed by it’s own resources. A hint of what is going to come.

Year Zero 2, is right around the corner..

Anywho, I’m going to have a lot of time to myself this coming weeks so I am going to be using my time wisely and will be in the laboratory preparing, finishing, and creating new artwork for my reckless heart and bleeding soul to achieve some kind of solace.

Dark times are ahead, so I’ve got to use this chance to be heard. ; )

Packing & a Kill Hannah music video

Today is my last day in Laredo for a few months.

I’m going to have to disconnect the computer in a few minutes and start packing things up. I can’t wait to see my apartment. I can finally put up all these posters I bought for it back in May and stuff. It should be neat.

We head out to Denton tomorrow so I’m going to be pretty busy today unfortunately. I got to make sure I pack all my art supplies and whatnots.

Anywho, here is neat music video of the song, “Boys and Girls” by Kill Hannah to till the pass the time because I don‘t know for sure when I‘ll do another entry. I hope I can do one as early as Sunday night, but you never know with these things. It’s such a long drive.



Buh-bye L-town!

11 New Photos Added! Plus, Layout Change!

We can't let some bad news dictate how we run the rest of our lives right? Haha.

Thanks to all my pals who gave me some words of encouragement and support over my upcoming surgery. I really appreciate it guys. You too, Toner. -_^

After all this bullshit is done we should all get together and go to local Austin show or just hang out at 6th street on a Friday night. : )

Well, I decided to upload ELEVEN new photos to the photography section. Finally ya'll get to see all 5 photos from The Birthday Massacre set back in May. PLUS, six photos of Mat Devine from the Kill Hannah performance this past July. Check em' out. Especially the Kill Hannah photos. I'm really proud of those pictures.




So, since my new photos have a certain style to them than my older photos, I have decided to take my old pictures off the site. In order to really represent my photography I have changed the layout and thumbnail dimensions of the site.

Sorry Alpha Rev and theSTART. You know I love you guys, but I am not proud of those photos. I do however, plan to see you guys again next time your around the area (where ever that might be [Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, or Laredo]) and I'd love to get down and dirty with all ya'll and get some sweet photos. So Alpha Rev fans and START fans, don't fret. You will get some new slick photos in the future. You can write it down dammit. -_^

Also head to my Sheezy page and comment/favorite some stuff. My photography seems to be lifting off in that site. (I guess joining the Mindless Self Indulgence club really helped a lot.) lol!

Thanks for the support guys!

I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

The cynical chameleon made a very cynical smile. You see, he was wrong. Something was made from nothing. However, that something was worthless. For the cynical chameleon would never get his chance to scream. His chance to show his true color. That true color. Which to me, leaves me to believe that just maybe he was right all along. Why else would he smile? Perhapes, he isn't cynical, but a realist. - "Realist Chameleon"

Today hasn’t really been a good day for me. I got a new Batman graphic novel called, “The Killing Joke”, but I don’t think it can really make up for today’s bad news.

I haven’t mentioned it here in this blog, but for those who know me outside the internet or on my social networking profiles, you’d know that I was prepared (no, ready) to finally leave my hometown of Laredo, Texas to attend the University of North Texas in Denton. I was accepted in the school and my financial aid is in hand, and my orientation date is scheduled for next week.

I am (in all definition) ready for my new school experience away from Laredo with my brother, cousins, and friends. I was finally gone. Be who I want to me without anybody questioning my actions or authority.

However, today I was in my oh-so-favorite-place in the world, San Antonio for (you guessed it!) a follow up with my doctors to see how I have been doing. Well, if you’ve gotten this far in my blog entry, then I am sure you can tell things are not good. I am still my own worst enemy. Not just mentally, but physically.

Things are not good at all.

My heart attack last year was a grueling testament and was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to endure. Since then, nothing has really been the same for me. While I knew deep down inside my health was desecrating, I put on a straight face and acted like nothing was wrong. Despite how cynical and morbid I am, I’m always secretly hoping things go different and I get better.

I can’t say that I am surprised by my doctor’s results, I just wished the new procedure on my heart could have waited till December. However I am in a pretty bad shape and waiting till then could be catastrophic. I am in a verge of getting another heart attack. One of the heart valves they replaced has been tearing during the year; and since May has deteriorated even more. I will be undergoing a new surgery in about six weeks. This is another big one. Again, I will be in the hospital for a month. Aside from death, another big risk from this procedure is that I won’t be able to walk again. While the chance is small, it still exists.

Also, this new surgery is going to be a lot more demanding and challenging that my normal heart doctor won’t be able to do it. Instead a doctor from (my second favorite place in the whole world!!) Houston, Texas will be operating on me. -_-

I don’t know if I can take it again to be honest. Writing this and thinking about this predicament exhausts me and makes my breathing harder and my heart beat faster..

I can’t do this alone. I need to really work with myself on this one. I need my mind healthy in order for me to get through this again. Last time this happened I was completely defeated in ways I don’t think I could ever explain. The idea of another birthday spent in a hospital bed is shattering for me.

I’m still going up to Denton for a little while, but I won’t be attending any classes. I am just going to be a freeloader for the next 4 weeks. I am scheduled to see Nine Inch Nails again this Monday, so that will make me very happy. Going to concerts and shows is where I can say that I am truly happiest.

Unfortunately my birthday weekend that included seeing Ghostland Observatory on October 11th will have to be attended without me. *sigh*

Oh, September.. how I hate you so.

A Letter From Saul Williams

I hardly get any real entertaining or breath-taking e-mails in my inbox. Usually it’s shit I already know, or various petitions that need signing. But, today I got a pretty neat, and thought provoking e-mail by poet, musician, and out-spoken activist Saul Williams. I signed up to his mailing list earlier in the year, and I’ve noticed he’s hardly sent out any e-mail updates. I believe the only other e-mail he ever sent out was to let everyone know about his Spring tour (which I really wanted to attend, but he only played the Austin City Limits festival which totally conflicted with my schooling).

Anywho, he sent one out earlier this afternoon updating his fans of what he’s been reading these days and all that jazz. Now, for those who don’t know Saul, he’s a very smart guy and is very political, spiritual, and can be hard to follow if you aren’t aware of his views. His latest letter is very though provoking, and has a really good point to it. It is most certainly a different kind of opinion and perspective than what I am sure the majority do not follow.

For me, Saul Williams’ latest letter better explains that one Gandhi quote Kay loves so much. I believe the quote goes; “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” While I am sure many won’t agree or even want to look through this perspective, he brings up a very logical point and it is definitely something to (not only thinking about), but consider.

Here is Saul’s letter:

Dear Friends,

Although I cannot boast a lifetime of keeping my views to myself, I have seldom taken on the responsibility of trying to change someone (alright, maybe a few girlfriends, but you'll never hold me to that). However, this year for me has been one of aggressively shifting from a reluctant pursuit of change and growth to taking a proactive stance on what I believe in times that I see as clearly representative of a societal paradigm shift both necessary and urgent for our country and world.

I received a lot of questions from some about why I would allow my song 'List of Demands' to be used in a Nike campaign. Ironically, half of the people now reading this post never heard of me until that commercial aired. That, indeed, was one of my reasons for allowing it. A small circle of poets and conscious do-gooders are not enough to effect the change necessary to shift our planet in peril. We must enlist people from all walks of life, people not accustomed to questioning the norm, people who may simply want to dance uninterrupted without message or slogan. I see no glory in 'preaching to the converted'. Furthermore, I believe fully in the power of music and have branded my work with it's own conscientious stamp and stomp of attitude fueled to steal the show in the face of the nonsensical. Quite simply, it was clear to me that people would not be rushing to the store to buy Nikes after seeing that commercial, but rather rushing to youtube or itunes to hear or download the song. I even imagined those who would be rushing to blogs to question how I could allow this to happen and the subsequent discussion of the ethical treatment of factory workers and how new minds would be informed and enlisted in the struggle for ethical change.

As an artist that characterizes himself and his work as a hybrid synthesis of creativity and responsibility I am forced to make politicized choices, weigh evils, and work strategically to make a living and contribute to the change I wish to see in my lifetime. For instance, the groundbreaking digital release of The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust! wasn't done simply because I wanted to give my album away for free and maintain my independence as an artist, but also because record companies left me little choice. As a musician I have been signed to both Columbia/Sony and Island/Def Jam rosters and have faced consistent naysayers who have basically insisted that I choose the type of music I am going to make and if the choice wasn't according to their definition of hip hop showed little faith in it or in the possibility of a wide public supporting it, without realizing their role in determining what the public supports. Radio stations followed suit in determining my music not urban, alternative, or rock enough. Of course my music showed more rock influence than Eminem but the KROQ's of the world seemed to be basing their definition of rock on something a little more surface than sound, at the time. Thus, I have always found myself with fans that have through their own hard work and diligence fought through the norm to find me, yet still voice surprise that more people haven't.

The compliment "you're ahead of your time", often feels more like a curse than a gift from a well-wisher. I have never considered myself ahead of my time simply because a few executives may not have been visionary enough to determine where music or antiquated ideas of race are heading or to realize their role in continually underestimating the intelligence of the listener and our generation. Rather I have seen those 'powers that be' as behind the times and perpetuators of an old cycle. Likewise, I have seen their over-turn as inevitable. Thus, The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust! simply came at a point when I realized that we were, indeed, living at a crossroads and Victor Hugo's saying, "There's nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come", came to life.

Without question, we are living in powerful times, a time where the powers of being will truly prevail over the powers that be. This is evident in the political sector where it has become clear, at least to me, that my support of Barack Obama is not because he's black, but because he seems to represent both symbolically and ideologically many of those ideas and ideals whose time has come. Ideas of the divine need for change ("God's just a baby and her diaper is wet." Get it?) in how we look at the world, ourselves, and at our individual and communal powers. The idea that might is right, that we demonstrate our power with aggressive force is great for football teams, but hardly the best idea for a country whose running source of pride has historically been the evidence of our collective imagination: our music; our films; our amusement parks; and the technology we create to share it. These products of peace are the things that made the world initially fall in love with us. We have rooted ourselves in a growing sense of independence as evidenced through our historic social movements, always upgrading our beliefs and laws to reflect our broadening understanding and vision. Of course, many, if not most, would label this a very optimistic perspective of the ongoing struggle for justice and equal opportunity for all people in this land. There is still a fight to have our voices heard and many of us when given the opportunity to speak seem to have very little to say. Then are those who have consistently fought against growth and change, who would rather fight for their right to maintain their antiquated, sometimes ignorant points of view, as if the age of the perspectives themselves is what validates them. Yet, the first technology is of the mind. It is the shift in perspective that allows us to streamline possibilities of understanding as reflected through invention. And quite simply, we are coming of age.

In this age it is our responsibility to challenge ourselves beyond cultural traditions and delineate between what we have perpetuated through ignorance rather than wisdom. We face an opportunity to broaden our worldview through the exchange of technology and information. We need not rely on what teachings of the past could not anticipate. It is an opportunity to forge ahead and beyond the wavering shortsightedness of our religious leaders, elected officials, teachers, principals, and sometimes parents and live in simple accordance with what we can feel deep within ourselves. We should no longer be surprised to sometimes find ourselves seemingly more intelligent, informed, or insightful than our leaders and bosses, rather we should feel encouraged to inspire and share our most informed selves in our every encounter. And that, my friends, is what has led me to write you today.

While sitting on a plane, on my way back from Lollapalooza, reading Thanking The Monkey by Karen Dawn, it struck me that this was the second awesomely inspiring and informative book I was reading this summer without sharing my thanks by spreading the word. I am sometimes hesitant about making a big deal about my vegan diet, as I have considered it a personal choice worth little discussion. Yet more and more, I have found myself attempting to encourage people who ask me where I find my inspiration, or what issues do I find important, or how can we curb warfare and violence to consider what we ingest. A story was recently recounted to me of a popular TV chef who chose to raise little piglets on his show to insure that they were fed organic food and not injected with chemicals (as is the practice on most factory farms), all for the sake of fattening them up for their slaughter and another primetime recipe. Yet, the time that this chef spent with these pigs taught him a valuable lesson (more valuable for the pigs, no doubt). What he learned was how intelligent pigs are. In fact, in recent times, it is common knowledge for most that pigs are arguably more intelligent than "mans best friend" and companion, the dog. For our chef, this meant switching gears and realizing that he could not consciously kill this intelligent animal, that it would constitute a murder as brutal as slicing your fluffy pets neck and watching it writhe and bleed to death, or sticking an electric prod up its ass and electrocuting it, if the fur or skin is of value…

It may seem like I have just taken a turn to the graphically extreme, I wouldn't want to make you "lose your lunch", but these are the common practices perpetuated by the factory farm industry on millions of animals a day, in the name of your breakfast lunch and dinner. And, no, I'm not simply talking about pigs, but also cows, chickens, turkey, horses (that's right horses. Everyday), and fish. Everyday, our species participates in the mass genocide of other species without care or concern or even questioning whether the violence that we ingest and condone plays any role in our apathetic support of the war machine we have become. How is it that we as human beings can represent both the highest and most developed and lowest and least concerned forms of intelligence of any living species? Are we simply glued to age-old barbaric traditions that cloud our senses and render us inhumane in our dependence on comfort foods and practices? Is our dependence on foreign oil the only thing we need to curb? What about not so foreign species?

Some might argue that artists are a race or species apart from the common person. Yet we all identify with the teachings of Gandhi, the genius of Einstein, the art of Leonardo Da Vinci, Picasso, Rembrandt and the talent and compassion of living artists like Alice Walker, Will Smith, The Mars Volta, Dead Prez, Prince and countless others. Some of us choose to emulate their styles, their fashion, their career choices, but why not their diets? If our brightest most celebrated stars all have this one thing in common why are we so slow in connecting the dots for ourselves? Perhaps the biggest issue at hand is not what our cars run on, but essentially what do we run on? The fact is that factory farms are the number one users of crude oil, not cars. That's basically what it takes to kill approximately one million chickens per hour (just in the US). More than half of our water supply goes to feed animals being fattened for slaughter. The methane gases that contribute to global warming are produced majorly by cow farts in factory farms, not to mention the amount of fossil fuels needed to create just one pound of beef.

Yep. You doing the math? Basically if we shifted our compassion towards animals, the domino effect would heal the planet. We'd no longer be cutting down rain forests to create more space for cows to graze, we'd stop depleting the ocean of the necessary (keyword: necessary) food chains that our eco system depends on, diseases including many cancers, heart disease, obesity, and others which find their root in the food/toxins we ingest would slowly disappear as would our taste for violence.

Which brings me to the other book I read this summer that inspired me to reevaluate every aspect of what I've been taught through the news and media, especially concerning the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. That book is The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.

So what are you reading?

I know what you should be listening to,

Niggy.

Red Highlights, Dreams, Tegan or Sara? & A Picture of Natalie Portman Breaking A Beer Bottle On Her Head

Boy, the opening Olympics ceremony was pretty amazing last night. It was so amazingly great and performed. One of the greatest pieces of performance art ever.

So, who’s been watching some of the Olympic matches? Pretty cool, huh. I entered some MyCokeRewards sweepstakes in which I could win $1,000 depending if the United States gets a gold medal in some of the competitions. I forgot which ones I placed bets on, (since I did it a few days ago) but I know women’s Volleyball, women’s swimming, men’s basketball, and men’s softball were ones I entered. I mean, I would imagine we American’s would dominate those fields. I entered others, like I said, but I forgot.

Anyway today I got a hair cut and added a lot of red highlights on my hair. Pretty sweet actually. If I looked sexier before, I look even more irresistible now. I’m looking more and more everyday like my character “Ice” on Rock Band (especially with my torn/sleeveless shirts). lulz!



Oh, I’ve been having weird dreams these past few weeks. Today I had one about Jaime’s friend Santi. For some reason, he liked to dress up as a woman. He went all out too, and looked more convincing than a drag queen (or Jeffree Star). I guess cause they go for a raunchy look, than a natural look which Santi seemed to pull off. So anyway, in this dream I was with a group of people in some place that resembled a musem, when all of a sudden Santi comes back inside the building crying. Apparently these group of guys beat him up while he had stepped outside. Nobody in the building was saying or doing anything to help Santi, he just sat there sad and hurt.

I got this huge homophobic vibe out of the dream. Like, nobody was even acknowledging him or anything. Everyone just ignored him. I wanted to say something in Santi's defense, but this guy looked at me and had this “you better not even thinking about it” kind-of-expression on his face. So I remember thinking, “I’d rather not speak in Santi's defense, for I will risk my reputation and credibility in front of all these people.” After I woke up from the dream I felt really disturbed. I didn’t like that at all. The dream totally made me look like some fake guy who will hide his inner feelings (and let alone stand up) for the minority just so I don’t look bad in front of people.

I know a lot of people like to read into dreams and take them as symbolism (or representational), but I don’t know for sure. I’ll admit, I’ve had some dreams in the past that have totally exposed the vulnerable or angry and sinister side of me (the side I try to work on and change, everyday), but some of them can be just plain silly.

For instance, I’ve been having some dreams about Tegan from Canadian rock artists Tegan and Sara. They’re weird dreams, if you ask me. I was out fishing with them and then we were at some dark store that sold vintage things (posters, signs, cards, etc.). For whatever reason, I so afraid to confess my love for Tegan (lol!) and I never got the chance to tell her that. The girls said they were going on tour (so why were they at the store with me!?) and I really wanted to tell her how I felt about her. Finally when I got enough courage (and stopped looking at an awesome Dark Knight poster that I wish was real) she was gone, along with her sister Sara. The next several moments was me depressed and missing Tegan.

It was pretty funny when you think about it, and I like talking about this dream especially since.. well, Tegan has absolutely no interest in perusing boys! lol! She likes girls! lol! So subconsciously, do I have a crush on Tegan? Is my dream trying to say something? ..and if so, why do I have a crush on Tegan and not her sister Sara whom looks EXACTLY LIKE HER, since they are twins! If I would say to them, you want ice-cream cone, both of them say yes! (damnem’tohell,theyrtwinz)

Mucho rofllers indeed. Dreams are funny like that. Bleh, walla walla. Oh, here is a picture of Tegan and Sara. Or Sara and Tegan. Or Tegan and Sara.. Or Sara and Tegan.. Or.. I don’t know! I’m so confused!!



AAHH!! As promised in my entry's title, here is an animated gif of Natalie Portman breaking an empty beer bottle on her head:


I DRINK ALL NIGHT.

Damn Natalie, you is bbbaaaddd..

Oh, and fuck you John Edwards. You fucked everything up. That is all. lolz!

"Like The Asian Holocaust" Premires!

My latest drawing, “Like The Asian Holocaust” has officially been released.

You can view it at my website, DeviantART, Sheezy, and Self-Portrait.net.

This drawing has been in the works for quite a while now, and was originally set to premiere back in February, but there were a few issues that I still needed to work out with it. Needless to say, it’s finally out now. This work deals with a sensitive subject, especially since it brings to light some very controversial events that I am sure can offend people who feel strongly about the subject.

I made sure to really word my explanation and description about this drawing right. I mean no harm to a groups of people, race, or countries. I was inspired by events that took place in the past and am merely exposing this occurrence. This isn’t a very popular subject or historical event, and my main goal was to bring more of an awareness to it.

I hope you all understand where it is I am coming from with this.

You can read my in-dept explanation here.

New Drawing This Friday

This Friday, August 8th, 2008 I will release "Like The Asian Holocaust." This drawing along with it's in-dept description expose the Japanese War Crimes of the early 1900's which have since been covered-up by not only Japan, but the United States government as well as other countries.

I hope that this drawing will teach some of my viewers a piece of this unfortunate forgotten history.

The release of “Asian Holocaust” collides with the Olympic games in Beijing, China. For those who have studied or are aware of the Japan’s past war atrocities, then I’m sure you’re aware of how much the people of China have suffered through those years. This artwork that I will release is designed to educate and make those around aware of such events. There are a lot of individuals whom have yet to apologize for such crimes, and we the people need to be aware of these things, so we can not repeat past mistakes.

This is very much like the Armenian genocide during World War 1, and the current atrocities being done in Darfur. We can not let our “leaders” get away with murder by covering up important and horrific events. The more we educate ourselves about these issues the more it becomes difficult for our leaders to lie behind their podiums, and the more difficult it becomes to repeat such violence.

I acknowledge I am not much of an artist, but I do have something to say.

I hope you’ll join me.

Further Down The Crash

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce a new companion site to my Another Pilot Down blog. I have entitled the new companion site, “Further Down The Crash” and will mainly be dealing with more in-dept notes and commentary about my artwork. I plan to really make things a lot more interesting for those who follow my artwork.

You see, there are some things in my artwork that I am not sure many people read into and I really feel it’s time to explain a lot of these interesting facts and notes to my friends. Like everybody, I have a lot to say. In my art, I put a lot of myself into each and every drawing (or poem). Sometimes this comes as a huge price to pay as I sink into deep thoughts of frustration and aggression. As you may know, drawing does not come easy for me. I try very hard on everything that I do because I want to be 100% happy with each of my works. When I draw something, I am not giving you any kind of bullshit. What you see, is what you get. So with that being said, there are a lot of elements that I place inside my work that hardly ever gets noticed by those who view my work.

Now that I feel more confident and more comfortable with my art, I would like to share with you all some of the deeper themes and symbolism within my art. I plan to really make things interesting for you all, so I hope you can all stick around for the ride.

You can view the new blog here.

: )