Life-Sized Portrait & The 7/9 Lies Sessions

Well, well.. my Intermediate Figure Drawing class has now come to a close. I was able to finish up my “life sized” self-portrait (pictured above), and I have to say I am really proud of it. While it does need a few touch-ups here and there, the response has been very positive. I tend to be (like I am sure most people), my harshest critic.

As you know, in my own mind, I feel I can never be good enough. However, when my fellow classmates tell me they really enjoyed it and have spoken so highly of my art, well.. it really makes me happy. (Thanks again LauraLee!) It’s hard for me to respond to positive critiques sometimes cause through my eyes I see all the mistakes, and hardly ever get to see anything that good in my art. But, alas, I appreciate all the kind words and I enjoyed the class and my classmates artworks very much. : )

However, now that I am done with school for the remaining of the Summer 1, (I am not taking any further classes for Summer 2) I will be embark creating new “original” artwork. I am now in possession of all my art supplies and I have until July 22nd before I go back to my hometown of Laredo to create some new artwork. It has been a long time since I have finished a “universe” drawing, and I think it’s time for something new. (The last drawing, “Sick” was done back in September 2008.)

But now is a good time to come back.. So this is my own test; whatever I create these next 12 days goes up. The last time I did this was last year, and it proved to be not only be a good exercise but I created some of my strongest material; (“Gasmask Poetry”, “Faith In God”, and “The Forgotten Trial of Jamie Leigh Jones)".

Welcome to The 7/9 Lies Sessions. Expect periodic updates here and “work-in-progress” photos through my Twitter account or Facebook & MySpace statuses. I have an artistic spark in me, and it needs to be unleashed! lol

It’s on!

Gah!! Sufferin' Succotash!

My final project for my Intermediate Life Drawing course is to do a full-fledged life sized drawing of ourselves. When I told Valerie this she exclaimed, “Urgh.. That’s so Barney and Friends.”

Then I went; “…”

Anywho, this assignment is proving most difficult for me. Not just cause I have such a low self-esteem kind of attitude towards my body or image, but just that the entire fucking thing has to be god damn perfect. I have to draw a clone. One worthy enough for me to make out with, and possibly (key word: POSSIBLY) go down on. ;) This thing needs to be finished by Monday and as it is I am making bad mistakes by procrastinating and lingering around Twitter hoping to see what my buddies do next! Ahh.. intercourse, eerr.. I mean, INTERWEBS. So awesome!

There is so much to do, so little time. You know, I annoy myself with the fact that I am a very slow drawer. Try and try as I might I have been working on my speed this throughout the month. It’s my main focus, just trying to get really quick and fast with my art. But alas, I’m too slow. I’m a slower drawer and a slow ass painter.

Oh, shit.. It’s 1AM at the moment. I should really take a shower, shave, and add a quick song to my Zune before I go off to bed. I have a long day tomorrow (eerr.. I mean, today..)

Night-night, Twits.. Uh, I mean.. Pilots!

No.. just.. Night-night kool kats! (That’s it!)

Artist Profile: Robyn O'Neil

Alright, I’m going to do something new here. Periodically, I’m going to make an “Artist Profile” entry on some various living (sometimes local) artists whom have caught my attention. I’ll include links, my thoughts, and information about them so you can all check them out.


For the first “Artist Profile” I am putting the spotlight on Robyn O’Neil.

Robyn was born in Omaha Nebraska and currently resides in Houston Texas. She has had various shows all across the country and around the globe. The bulk of her work is all primarily drawings. Straightforward, pencil drawings. Which in the artwork is tough to break into since most art shows cater to mixed media and paintings (and they tend to place drawings to the side). Below is one of her pieces:

"Everything that stands will be at odds with its neighbor, and everything that falls will perish without grace"
Yesterday, I had the fine pleasure of meeting her when she made a visit to UNT’s College of Visual Design and gave a talk about her artwork. As I sat in attendance listening to her describe and explain some of her work I couldn’t help be floored at what she was saying. Mostly all her pieces are all very personal and her series is one continuous storyline. Her work has reoccurring characters, places, and attitudes. The figures she depicts are destructive, sometimes caring, sometimes delusional drone men. Women are never present and a few of the animals that do appear are used as cautionary figures of what could or shouldn’t happen.

She uses only a mechanical pencil and starts her drawings from top to bottom. In order to avoid smearing the pencil lead, she puts a piece of glass on her hand while she draws away. I haven’t mentioned how some of these drawings are extremely HUGE! Some of her pieces are so big, she has to lie down on the floor with the paper on top of her just to continue them. Her artwork below, titled “These final hours embrace at last; this is our ending, this is our past” is 83 x 166.8 inches! A size that I don’t think I can ever pull off.


Robyn is also the very definition of dedicated. In her talk she admitted to taking up to 4 to 5 months finishing pieces (and by 4 months, I mean 4 months). She typically spends 12 to 15 hours a day, 5 to 7 days a week working on her drawings in her Houston home. She doesn’t have much of a social life and every time she is away from her studio she doesn’t feel as comfortable.

When asked about why she uses only a mechanical pencil, O’Neil said that she is able to capture lines caused by her anxiety that would otherwise be overlooked if she had used a graphite stick or charcoal. That is something I can respect and identify with. Something else that caught my attention was when she said, “I like to think of my artwork as a sentence to a novel.” Meaning, despite that each drawing says something different about her, they are all essential to each other and tell a much bigger story. As if you all don’t already know by now, my work is the very same in that respect. For years I’ve tried to describe it and say what I really mean, and when I heard it back to me yesterday.. it all made sense.

After her lecture, I talked to her about that and that I really admired what she has done. I can really relate to her work and after you see some of the pieces she has done, you can see a lot of elements that I use in my own drawings.

I recommend ya’ll check her stuff out.

"The Disruption"

LINKS & RESOURCES:
Robyn O'Neil's Website
The Believer - Interview with Robyn O'Neil
Arts Journal Article

Heroes & Cons

So just like that, my little red house is gone. The monsters and vampires that once plagued my dreams have all disappeared. Suddenly the sunrise no longer burns as much. I think I’m free.

Finally free.

I am well aware that I haven’t really been writing as much here as I used to. I apologize dearly, cause I’m just so fortunate that any of ya’ll even read or care of what I have to say. But as I’ve stated in my previous entry, I’m just too happy. Life is being very kind to me and I can’t sit still and ramble about things because I’m just going to end up repeating myself or sounding silly after awhile.

One small unfortunate circumstance of my happiness is that I don‘t really have much of a drive to create or finish any art at the moment. Ideas and concepts that have been in the works for several years have been placed on hold yet again. While, I have been writing some poetry, much of that material has also been shelved for the time being. I suppose my passion for art and enthusiasm for expression is the causality to my joy.

Though despite enjoying my days and nights with the Jamester, Fausto, Alison, and Jesus.. There have been a few late night moments in which life tries to test my moral codes and own resistance, and I have to say that I handle it well. As I play the game, I physically feel as if my second half of my being is being separated only to further distance itself from hurting my deeper self. It feels as if I no longer need to defend anything, because I don’t have anything to defend.

Since I stopped playing hero a few months ago, the weight has been lifted. Even if I care so much about you, I know I can’t or shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want to do. While it was so scary to let that part of me go, it was the right thing to do. To not “be a hero” has, and will forever be, the best advice I have ever received. So maybe it’s time for somebody else to take up the mantel cause I’m tried of it.



I’m becoming unphased by these images of the Iraq Revolution, articles about cruelty towards animals, or even how badly the entire economic system seems to be crumbling all around us. I honestly don’t care. Infact I just smile. I smile, suck on a cigarette, and just look at my friends and realize how luck I am. There is nobody in the world quite like them and that makes all the difference.

I was raised in the era of heroes and cons, and I’m happy to report that I’m neither.

Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace

..maybe it's the high of accomplishment or how the universe around me has been acting this entire month, but I feel that I am the happiest person in the world. I have thought about this for some weeks now, but my life at the moment seems to be headed in all the right directions. I've told a few people this, but I feel like sharing anyway; I think I have reached the end of it all. If I were to die tomorrow or years later, I would want you all to know that I have accomplished everything I ever set out to do in my life. To quote Bill Murry in Ghostbusters; "we came, we saw, we kicked it's ass!" Though this ain't about ghosts, this is straight from my heart. ;)

Since my heart attack a year and half ago, I have now become much more healthier and stable. Shit, I will even go as far and say that I am much more healither now than I have been all my life! I can withstand more, walk faster, and I am hardly as tired. For such a long time I felt I wouldn't have been able to recover or correct all that was wrong with my health and life. I was in such a deep state of both anger and depression that I did not think all would ever be well. One a big casuality in this was my relationship with my mom. For such a long time since the incident, I resented her and she knew it all too well. In drunken fits of rage, I made it no secret to anybody around me how much I was angry at her. I was also angry at myself and if you take a look at the artwork done throughout 2008, you'd see a lot of that aggression depicted. For such a long time, there was a bitter taste and I knew she felt equally like shit for everything that had happened.

It took awhile and a lot of talking throughout the year(s) to really fix things between us. Which fills me with relief to tell you all that things couldn't be more perfect between us. She is somebody who has supported me throughout my life and, while we both have made our fair share of mistakes, it doesn't matter anymore. She is my biggest fan and I want it to remain that way. I'm thankful and glad to have the family that I have, because that is rare in this day and age.

At the same time, it is also no suprise to anyone of my friends or relatives that my friendships were either damaged or just destroyed during that time period. Yet, as I recovered throughout the months after the emergency operation I tried my best to fix my friendships. I know I have made mistakes, but after trying to rebuild and fix things internal and external, I find myself with a strong sense of accomplishment. All is well in my Gotham City. I have some of the best friends that would make everybody else in the whole planet jealous. I value them all in my life and I don't take them for granted.

School in Denton has also been a fantastic experience. It's so challengeing and rewarding. I love the workload, the tension, and the all-night study sessions! I know it's crazy and I honestly thought I would never in my most fucked up of dreams ever say something like that, but I can't help it. I love what I do and I try very hard for my grades. I have met some really neat and cool people up in D-town, and I enjoy their company very much. It's such a liberal, open-minded, and artistic community that it honestly makes me want to just live there forever!

I love going to concerts and I do it more often now. I have seen many of my favorite bands and artists. Hung out and became friends with some of them. Their music touches me in ways that can never be explained and I love that just fine! I have even seen my heroes on stage and I met Dexter Holland, my hero for more than half of my life. As I said, I can honestly stop everything now, and be satisfied with my life.

Insignificant things are no longer sad or distressing. I turn on the TV and see a crisis on the news. I see the president I elected making a mockary of what I stood for.. but I can tell you with a smile on my face that I don't care at all. Things that used to bother me don't matter anymore. That kid who bothered me doesn't matter anymore.

You see, I have achieved my consolation prize and I am thankful for that. I don't think there is anybody in the world who can say that. Hell, I don't think there is anybody who actually say that with a straight and honest face.

But I can. I have done it all now.

I got my "simple kind of life."

Eleven years later.. the best day ever.

I have seen Green Day live. Linkin Park twice. Nine Inch Nails four times. Cold twice. theSTART twice.

..and so on, and so forth.

But there is really only one band that has gotten away so many times, so much so, that the joke became unfunny over the years. That band is, the Offspring. Since 1998, I have been a fan of them. I wore their symbol around my neck like a god damn crucifix each and every day. I wore it proudly and have always taken it to every show that I have ever been too. I sported their posters and have all their music memorized by heart. They are, above all others (forever and ever) my favorite rock band.

Back in 2002, during their Conspiracy of One tour the band did an extensive North American tour that had both theSTART and the International Noise Conspiracy as openers. One of their stops was at the Sunken Gardens in San Antonio, TX. Being the huge fan that I was I got bought tickets for my mom, dad, and brother. I was so excited I could not wait. However, this did not last. The only tour date that the band cancelled in that year was the San Antonio one. I was crushed. I couldn't believe that the only one concert date that I was going too was cancelled. I felt as if somebody was playing a sick joke.

Years later, the band avoided playing several Texas shows. When they did return for San Antonio it was the Summer of 2004 as a part of the Warped Tour. Always being against those kinds of festivel tours, I made the contraversial choice of not going. Why bother sitting in the hot sun to watch a 100 run-of-the-mill punk bands, only to see The Offspring for half an hour?? It just didn't make sense to me. The band deserved better.

Now lets flash forward to 2009: The Offspring have returned with an extensive North American summer tour, appropriately titled the "Shit Is Fucked Up Tour." The band just finished playing two Texas dates last night, and yours truly was at the Austin, Texas show.

It was hands down one of the greatest experiences of my life! Behind the scenes, my mom had gotten in contact with somebody from the venue (which was, Stubb's BBQ), and tried to see if the band was going to do a meet and greet. Having no control over these sort of things, the marketing manager who worked at Stubb's tried anyway.

Low and behold, my name was submitted to the KROX radio station contest winners list.We were going to get a very intimate acoustic set by both Dexter and Noodles! Me and Jaime got to go about 3 and half hours before the Stubb's show and got to see the band peform! In the acoustic set (which was being recorded for the radio station), Dexter and Noodles played, "Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?", "The Kids Aren't Alright", and "Come Out And Play." After that, one lucky winner got to play Noodles at Guitar Hero: World Tour. As they set it up, I got to talk to Dexter Holland himself!! I told him how I was also going to their show in Las Vegas later in the month. After, he signed my booklet of "Ixnay on the Hombre", I took a picture with him.



..the photo I have been waiting for, for so many years. After all my trials and tribulations, I felt that my moment was finally here.

After the get-together, Dex and Noodles had to head out to the venue and so did me and Jaime. Now that we met the band, it was time to see them rock out. After watching the openers, Street Dogs (whom were really fucking cool) and the Alkaline Trio, I noticed the crowd getting bigger and much more hostile. Afraid I might end up getting crushed to bits and peices like I was during my second outing with Mindless Self Indulgence last year, I decided to ask a security guard if there was any place I could be at to see the show. The dude was so nice, he was like, "Yeah! Sure, why didn't you say this sooner?? I'll take you to the VIP section." I was so excited!







I got to see The Offspring perform from the saftey of the second floor balcony. No seats, just leaning on the rail down at the stage and crowd. They blasted through all their hits and included some of their fastest songs. The mosh pits were insane and lasted throughout their entire set! (They even moshed during the slow songs, "Gone Away" and "Kristy.") One of the coolest moments was when they played, "Have You Ever" and "Staring at the Sun" just like the order in "Americana" album. Very cool, very fun, very emotional. "Gone Away" was performed on piano which sounded so beautiful and rocking. I really hope the band decides to do a studio recording of that. "Alot Like Me" off of "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace" made it's live debut in our set which was totally AMAZING. It is definetely the song I related to the most in that album, so I was so psyched that they performed it.










I could continue to go on and one, but really.. it was an amazing day. I am so glad that I am going to see them again in Las Vegas on the 30th. It is going to be a lot of fun. There was nothing that could have made the day any better. It was everything I could have ever imagined and more. During the song "Half-Truism", the lyrics in the chorus go; "..if we don't make it alive, well it's a hell of a good day to die."

Nobody in the audience that night yelled that with more honesty than I.

Overdriven Raccoons

..stand tall friends. We are a one, we are strong. We shall prevail.

God speed, Mat.

Oh, you should really pay that warrent. I'd hate to see you in jail.