Honest & Conflicted

The first week of the Spring semester has officially come to a close for me. (Not really, cause I have several projects and chapters to read.)

I can safely assume that despite this was the first week and the first days were nothing sort of just going over the syllabus and introducing the classes, some of the courses have plans to get deep inside my inner self. My two Women’s Studies classes are going to be some of the best, though at the same time, are going to really “expose” me to my fellow classmates. Especially the “Feminist Theory” course. Introducing myself was already a haphazard me cause in order for me to really connect with my classmates I had to tell them where I was coming from. (The class has like 25-ish people in total, and four of those are men. Myself included.)

My Painting II Class is also proving to be very existential. Our first painting is already going to rip through the core of me. Our instructor just said to paint an “autobiographical” painting. (Take that anyway you’d like.) So it’s no surprise to anybody that all my “original” artwork is very personal and autobiographical to, however this time I’m going to have to bring that in front of everyone. (Which is okay, I guess.) Though, the twist of this all is that we (the students) have to keep a journal of all our thoughts while painting our “Autobiographical” Painting. I’ve done this before and the results are always messy. My mind scrutinizes and criticizes every move I make. Can it be that now everybody (or the instructor) are going to see just how screwed up really am inside?

..or is this the way every artist is? Are we all “messed up”..? Does it come with the job? I don’t know sometimes.

I guess what bites me the most is that this is a new school and a new time for me, yet, right off the bat I’m going to show everybody just what makes me tick. Maybe I’ll fit in or maybe I’ll say too much.

No more hiding behind a computer, I suppose.