Confidence in Expressing Myself

As an artist I put a lot of myself into my artwork. So much so, that I used to never actually show my family or friends my drawings because the subject matter was very personal. I felt that I didn't have the confidence to express who I was. Instead, I drew a lot of portraits of famous celebrities and my favorite rock bands so I didn't have to show my dark drawings.

While I had fun in making portraits, it wasn't in my heart or what I really wanted to do. This would all change when I started to attend the Laredo Community College. During my first semesters in LCC, I got to know my professors and they really helped me to refine a lot of my technique. In turn, I gained some confidence in showing them my more original and personal pieces. Later, my professors pushed me to have some of my personal artwork in a local art show at the Laredo Center For The Arts. Even though I was very excited and thrilled to participate in the show, I felt a huge sense of anxiety because my family would come and finally see my dark and very personal artwork.

"The SALSA Exhibition 2008 at the Laredo Center for the Arts"

My drawings featured scary and distorted figures and I knew it was sure to cause some controversy with my family. However, the night of the opening reception my anxiety was slowly going away. It was still very nerve-racking, especially since a lot of my family came to the gallery. But ultimately, I was overjoyed to have those who cared about me support me and my art. Despite that it felt as if my there was so much people wanted to know about my work, nobody judged me for my work. Though, it wasn't a very easy thing to overcome it was a process and necessary step in-order to fully grow as an artist and actually try to make it as a career. I got a lot of recognition by my family, peers, and art enthusiasts. It was the first public exhibition that I had ever participated in and the experience further gave me the confidence to continue to be myself.


**Originally published in Spanish in the April 28th, 2012 issue of Antesala

Marfan Syndrome

Being born with Marfan Syndrome has not been easy. Infact, it has been a rather difficult challenge. For those that do not know, Marfan Syndrome is a genetic disorder that effects the connective tissue of the body and it is a condition that I have lived with my entire life. The physical characteristics of people with Marfan's tend to be tall with long hands and arms and tend to have long thin fingers. Furthermore, I ended up having a slightly more severe condition of the disorder because my heart valves, eyes, and spinal cord have suffered defects throughout the course of my life. Some people whom have the condition go through most of their lives not not knowing of it's existence and it goes undiagnosed until their late 20's or 30's (which is why it's important for me to educate people about this disorder.)

For me, it was especially challenging to grow up with the condition because of these things. As a child when I was going to both elementary and middle school I always felt different from the rest of my classmates. Because of the physical characteristics, I was picked on and bullied because of my appearance and I was not allowed to play many of the sports during P.E. while I was in middle school. Then, later in high school I had an operation that would leave me using the assistance of crutches, which too did not make things easier. In spite of this, I am grateful that I had amazing parents whom looked for the best doctors on the genetic disorder.

I feel it is very important more people know about Marfan's, because of the fact that many go undiagnosed. Lastly, even though life I have always found it hard to put down my experiences into words, I draw and paint them onto paper and canvas. I use my art as an outlet to express my ideas and the things that I have been through. Yet in spite of everything that I have experienced, this disorder isn't what dictates me. Though I take medications and I try to keep myself healthy, I feel that this is something that I live with, yet it isn't what I live by.

For more information on Marfan Syndrome please visit:
The National Marfan Foundation


**Originally published in Spanish in the April 14th, 2012 issue of Antesala

Motivation and Inspiration

As an Artist, it can be difficult finding inspiration and motivation. I remember in my senior year of high school, there was a period in which I did not have much of a drive to create any art. Being diagnosed with Marfans Syndrome and having surgical procedures done throughout my teen years, made me feel exhausted to motivate myself in starting my ideas. Sometimes, this went on for months. The ideas that had were placed on hold because I didn't have the energy to create any drawings or paintings. Even when I tried to write poetry, I found myself being displeased with the outcomes.

But deep down, I knew this path couldn't continue. I felt that without Art, I didn't exist and I did not want to let that happen. If my artwork and poetry is my autobiography then it felt as if there would be lots of empty lifeless pages. So I tired to push myself, even when it was so painful. Trying to draw while being in a hospital can be extremely difficult, but my friends and family knew that if I was going to get better I had to start drawing again. Thinking negatively is like a plague that eats away at your mind and when you are feeling physically broken it can be extremely toxic in getting well.

Thus, I kept drawing and writing. Deliberately, I tried to put all my feelings onto paper in hopes that something positive can come from my struggles. As I continued, slowly my motivation was coming back. The lines I drew eventually turned into sketches. The sketches eventually turned into clear designs. Eventually, I started to heal to get better and I noticed that the artwork I was doing grew and matured in the process. My teachers and mentors saw my art as a breakthrough. My friends were impressed and in turn it made me feel good about myself. Months later, a lot of the artwork I did during this time would eventually be displayed in local art shows. Through this painful trial, I was able to bring out the motivation and inspiration from within. Even though everybody is different in their own way, I learned that if you have a passion and will to strive to better yourself, you can overcome any situation.


**Originally published in Spanish in the April 7th, 2012 issue of Antesala

Upcoming Events in Texas

Greetings Kid Chameleons,

Okay, I’ve got a few announcements about upcoming events in both the San Antonio area and the Dallas/Fort Worth Area that I think you will be interested in. A lot of these events support my friends whom are local artists as well as the activist organizations I am a part of.

Thursday, August 19th 2010

Campaign to End the Death Penalty
Potluck and Film Screening

Time: 7PM to 9:30PM
Price: $3 with dish! $5 without dish!
Location: 923 #10 Sycamore St. Denton, TX

Come join the Denton chapter of CEDP for a potluck fundraiser and film screening! Please note that this event is BYOB and vegetarian options for dishes are very much encouraged. We will be screening a film surrounding the topic of women on death row!

Friday, August 20th 2010

Campaign to End the Death Penalty Kegger/Benefit Show

Time: 9PM to 2:30AM
Price: $5 ALL YOU CAN DRINK!
Location: 907 AVE. A DENTON TEXAS

This Kegger/Benefit Show helps benefit the members of Denton’s CEDP chapter get to Chicago for their Annual Conference. It will feature musical performances by:
Billy Ratcliff
Samantha Roberts
Greenhouse
Coming To Get Barbara
..and more to come!

For more information please contact:
Laura at 956.432.7991 or e-mail anti-deathpenalty@yahoo.com

Monday, August 23th 2010

The Delta Mirror with Phantom Caste & Grassfight

Time: 9PM to 12AM
Price: TBA
Location: Hailey’s 122 Mulberry St. Denton, TX

Check out my friends in Phantom Caste and Grassfight as they open for the critically acclaimed band The Delta Mirror from Los Angeles! Is it set to be a really great show, so don't miss out!
Tickets can be purchased here.

Friday, August 27th 2010

Broads & Panties Presents: The Sunset Strip!

Time: 10PM to 2AM
Price: $5 COVER
Location: Basement Bar 105 W Exchange Ave Fort Worth, TX 76164

The gorgeous ladies of Broads & Panties come back once again to rock the Basement Bar in Fort Worth with their special brand of bartop Burlesque performances! Featuring performances by:
Christina Carnality
Bettie Blood
Glam’Amour
Ruby Manhattan
..and more!

Hosted by: Frye Mike

Friday, August 27th 2010

bandERA Productions Present:
Hydra, Melody, Jungle Noize, We The Sohns, Granada, Squid Bucket, Fareview, The Next Day


Time: 7PM to ???
Price: $10 Tickets
Location: 17200 N State Highway 16 just inside of Helotes

Join BandERA Productions for a night of music, lights, and art. Featuring live painting by Jose Cardenas & David Moras as well as Live Screen Printing by fellow Laredo artist Eddee Hults and Jerry Munoz! There will also be sculptures by my friend Juan Medellin at the show.

This show is for ages 16 and over.

Chameleons, Fliers, Links, and Other Updates

Okay everybody, lots and lots of updates to get into. However, if you keep up with me on Facebook or Twitter then you’d probably already knew about all the various artwork I have uploaded throughout the past three weeks. But, with that being said, there is still much more to dive into. So lets get right to it!

First and foremost, three new drawings have been added to my gallery at Another Pilot Down! “Dale Shine” (Cynical Chameleon 19), “Ode to the Kid Chameleons” and “Old Man” have all been released to moderate success over the course of August. Obviously my more political work gets more recognition, such as last months’ “Executioner” which is still getting people excited.

Anyway, be sure to check those out and feel free to leave me some comments either here or on my wall over on Facebook. (It would make my day!)

Secondly, a new section to the Misc. Gallery has now been opened! Head on over to my website to check out the brand new Fliers & Advertisements gallery. This section was opened up to showcase a few examples of the various fliers that I have created over the course of the year. They range from my freelance gigs with Broads & Panties and Paper Moon Photography to my work with the activist organizations; FMLA, ISO, and CEDP. At the moment only 9 fliers are present, but trust that in the coming days there will be a lot more. For those of you on Facebook, it really isn’t anything you haven’t already seen.

Third, I added some new links to the site. Under the Artists Galleries section I Ritchard A. Ludlow’s website and in the Hyperactivism/Non-Profits category I added the Campaign to End the Death Penalty as well as the International Socialist Organization. If you have a gallery, store, or a progressive/activist organization you’d like to see in my links section, please let me know in the comments box or drop me an e-mail.

Fourth, I have taken an initiative on making Another Pilot Down and The Kid Chameleons Blog integrated with not just my art, but by expanding more on my political views and overall presentation. I have worked on the layouts and tweaked some pages to better unify my site together (however, the Portraits & Still-Lifes gallery is under heavy construction for the time being). The various Links & Resources found on the left column of the Kid Chameleons Blog have all been changed to be suit the person I am today. The KCB banner has also been changed and features my new art as well. There are also a few other things, but some are so insignificant you wouldn’t notice even if I told you.

Lastly, expect more updates and entries. I know I have said that throughout the year, but I promise that I will definitely be making much more of an effort. I have integrated some software to update both my blog and website much easier and faster. So if I annoyed you all before, I’m going to be doing it more often now. ;)

New Art! "Executioner" has now been released!!

It has been awhile, hasn’t it?

Do people still read my blog? ..this thing hasn’t been updated in ages!

Well consider those days over, because I’m back and (artistically) I feel more alive than I have ever been! I have started new drawings that pick up where I left off back in the September Sessions 2008. Despite that “A Fate Like Daphne” was done earlier this year, the work was created with a certain criteria/mindset in which made it a bit more accessible than the rest of my work.

“Executioner”
July 12th, 2010
Pencil | 11 x 14 inches
I don’t think I could find a more appropriate subject matter to attack in my latest piece than the controversial, barbaric, and outdated practice known as the death penalty. As you all know I am no stranger in using my art as tools against deranged politicians and misguided public figures. So in that sense, my latest artwork continues that tradition but it also gets down to the nitty-gritty. “Executioner” finds myself ridiculing Texas Governor Rick Perry for his stance on the death penalty. As a human rights activist, and an supporting member of the Campaign to End the Death Penalty (Denton Chapter), I find the practice to be extremely racist, while also punishing the poor, and condemns the innocent to die. However, Perry (a devoted Christian) feels otherwise. Since appointed governor he has had more than 200 executions under his belt.

I will be adding a much more in-depth analysis of “Executioner” to my Artists Notes & Commentary section of Another Pilot Down. So keep any eye on this blog or my Facebook and Twitter accounts for these updates.

Alas, as any decent artist will do.. I’m off to my next piece!
Thank you all for your kind words and support!

"A Fate Like Daphne" added to Another Pilot Down

My website has been updated with my latest drawing entitled, "A Fate Like Daphne." If you all remember, this was the drawing that I briefly hinted at in my previous entry. This piece was created to benefit the VDay.org movement and the Vagina Monlogues.

So after a great successful run of the auction the drawing was sold and now I present to you the digital version. :D