Influences: Joel-Peter Witkin

If Frida Kahol influences the very personal aspect that my artwork takes on, then it's the photography of Albuquerque, New Mexico's Joel-Peter Witkin who molds the dark, scary, and often disturbing figures that usually shows up in my works. I've often joked that my drawings and paintings have a tendency to “scare little kids,” and I'm certain that those whom have seen my art can more than the likely say the same thing. Well, in many ways it was the influence of Witkin's artwork who guided me in that direction.

For those who aren't familiar Witkin's photography, they often deal with themes of death, corpses, and various “outsiders.” His models are primary dwarfs, amputees, and individuals whom are physically deformed. Witkin often places them in a cryptic setting, while various skulls, religious crosses, weird masks, limbs, and other creepy things fill the background.

As I've mentioned a few times here in my column, being born with Marfan Syndrome often made me feel like an outcast and an outsider. The physical characteristics of people with Marfan's are usually skinny, tall, with long arms and thin fingers. Coupled with being in and out of hospitals, the condition always made me feel as if I didn't belong. So when I first saw Witkin's photography, it made me think of all these people with different types of disabilities and it captured a sense of beauty for me. Even though his work can be viewed as extremely disturbing there is a sense of calmness and an classic elegance to it. In fact, much of Joel-Peter Witkin's pieces are reminiscent of classical paintings and there is often a lot of religious imagery that doesn't insult but celebrates it. It just happens to be in his own twisted way.

Despite that he photographs people with physical disabilities, his work never exploits them. In fact, many if not all of his models have said he is one of the most respectful people ever. His work doesn't try demonize or shame them, instead it honors what society deems weird and odd. It embraces “the strange” and just as I do.

**Originally published in Spanish in the August 3rd, 2013 issue of Antesala

Influences: Frida Kahlo

For those whom have seen my artwork in person or visited my website, you'd more than likely see a lot of different artists and influences buried deep within my drawings and paintings. I like to draw from all sorts of diverse things and in the end I try to really paint a piece of work that really says something about me and who I am.

With that being said, I think it is safe to say that my biggest influence are the works of Frida Kahlo. Even before I got to know what kind of artist she was, the similarities in what I was doing mimicked that of hers as well. For instance, Frida suffered lifelong health issues and while they were the result of a car accident that happened when she was a teenager, this was something that I knew too much about. Since I was born with Marfan Syndrome, much of my early years were spent alone, isolated, and I felt like an outcast from the rest of the students. Spending weeks in hospitals didn't help this isolation either. This was a feeling that Frida felt too and she expressed that depression in her paintings.

She's often quoted in saying, “I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.” It's in that statement where I truly feel a deep and sorrowful connection with her. Like the majority of my drawings, my pieces are deep and personal reflections of myself. Frida did exactly that. Everything she painted was drawn from personal experiences, her numerous operations, and her unfortunate miscarriages. While her accident left her in a great deal of pain, she used her works to capture everything she felt and made masterpieces that would live on forever. Like in my own drawings, she often painted herself with all these abstract and very surreal imagery around her.

In conclusion, Frida Kahlo is an artist whom has shaped me greatly and I constantly continue to draw much inspiration from her. As I stare into her paintings, I see the inner turmoil and sadness she went through. But I also feel the relentless beating heart of a strong and powerful woman. I can only dream that one day someone will feel the same about my artwork.

**Originally published in Spanish in the July 27th, 2013 issue of Antesala

Motivation and Inspiration

As an Artist, it can be difficult finding inspiration and motivation. I remember in my senior year of high school, there was a period in which I did not have much of a drive to create any art. Being diagnosed with Marfans Syndrome and having surgical procedures done throughout my teen years, made me feel exhausted to motivate myself in starting my ideas. Sometimes, this went on for months. The ideas that had were placed on hold because I didn't have the energy to create any drawings or paintings. Even when I tried to write poetry, I found myself being displeased with the outcomes.

But deep down, I knew this path couldn't continue. I felt that without Art, I didn't exist and I did not want to let that happen. If my artwork and poetry is my autobiography then it felt as if there would be lots of empty lifeless pages. So I tired to push myself, even when it was so painful. Trying to draw while being in a hospital can be extremely difficult, but my friends and family knew that if I was going to get better I had to start drawing again. Thinking negatively is like a plague that eats away at your mind and when you are feeling physically broken it can be extremely toxic in getting well.

Thus, I kept drawing and writing. Deliberately, I tried to put all my feelings onto paper in hopes that something positive can come from my struggles. As I continued, slowly my motivation was coming back. The lines I drew eventually turned into sketches. The sketches eventually turned into clear designs. Eventually, I started to heal to get better and I noticed that the artwork I was doing grew and matured in the process. My teachers and mentors saw my art as a breakthrough. My friends were impressed and in turn it made me feel good about myself. Months later, a lot of the artwork I did during this time would eventually be displayed in local art shows. Through this painful trial, I was able to bring out the motivation and inspiration from within. Even though everybody is different in their own way, I learned that if you have a passion and will to strive to better yourself, you can overcome any situation.


**Originally published in Spanish in the April 7th, 2012 issue of Antesala