Doctors, Angst, Cobras, and The Smashing Pumpkins

Well, I'm back from the doctors. Boy, it was a long day. I am so tried. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I slept close to 4am only to wake up at 6am. Needless to say, I am pretty pooped. After taking my clothes off, getting owned by an ivy, and laying down on a hard bed while they do scans of your insides, Dr. Carpenter said I was doing good. She did however notice that one of the heart valves that they replaced was getting sort of "swollen". She said it was nothing to be worried about, yet.. but it's better if we catch this early on and not have to do emergency surgery like they did last time. She wanted to see me in 3 months again to see if anything has changed. So, late April, I'll be doing exactly what I did today. :/

I also have to monitor myself and hope I don't get my blood pressure high. Which sucks, cause that can be hard. I mean, it goes up just by listening to my music on headphones or getting excited. It's as if I am not suppose to have fun at all. Which gets me down.

I was talking with my aunt last week when she took me and my brother out to lunch. I was telling her how everybody always shoots down my ideas of wanting to something extravagant. I jokingly told her how I wanted to go to Las Vegas this coming Friday for the weekend to go see theSTART perform at the Beauty Bar. My brother (of course) was like, "that's stupid!" I know I wasn't being serious, but I always felt that if I was normal. If I was able to walk normal like everybody else I would use that to the fullest to do whatever I damn well pleased. I see all this wasted potential in everybody. Maybe, it's because I almost died that I can now appreciate what things more. (Well, not really.) But, I guess.. that if I were to have died that September day, what would they say about me? They'll say nice things I am sure. Totally ommitting how fucked up I fell about my life, religion, politics, etc. But, what would have I said? All my life, I was just controlled. I sat infront a classroom. I wasted my life infront of a computer. Another wasted potential. I do what I am told. Everyday is Exactly The Same, so to speak.

But I dunno, now I want to do a bunch of stuff like I always wanted to do. What's so weird about disappearing for a weekend to go out of state to see a rock band perform? I sold my soul to rock 'n roll along time ago, baby. It's time to act upon that. -_^

*reads over what he just wrote* Ha ha, I sure am corny. Tell me again why I don't have my own TV show? : P

Anyway, last night I missed the second episode of The Sarah Conor Chronicles cause some of the Laredo Bucks players came by to munch on our food. Regardless, I snagged me a ticket to go see Cobra Starship perform at Emo's Austin in Feburary. Should be neat. They're going to pass around glow sticks and encourage all the kiddos to dance. There's also a strobe light, I hear. Ah, good ol' new wave music. *listens to their album*

Oh yeah, why didn't anybody tell me the Smashing Pumpkins released an EP this week called, "American Gothic"? I had to download it yesturday and was completely suprised. Let me tell you this lil' EP is good. Really good! Much better than "Zeitgeist", that is for damn sure. This is a lot closer to the way we remember The Pumpkins. Not as some heavy metal band like in "Zeitgeist". I recommend you download it.

Oh and before I close head over here, to see Saul William's music video for "Sunday, Bloody Sunday". It's really good. I enjoyed it.

Well, I guess that's all for now.